How the fandom life kidnapped me

In today’s post I would like to talk about The Hunger Games and what it means to me. Now that the first part of Mockingjay is out and about in the cinemas I think it’s high time to talk about it. I love the books, I really do. The books changed my life. I mean it. When I first heard about the books I was like “Meh”. I don’t like hypes about books and movies much. Okay, now I’m hypocritical, I admit it. But the Twilight trauma was just too fresh in my mind. So I decided (!) that I wouldn’t read The Hunger Games. But then I was going to the cinema with a friend and there we saw the trailer of the upcoming movie. And the trailer was what got me interested. The movie looked like fun and action and basically so much better than Twilight. So I gave it a try. And what can I say? I was instantly hooked. First I bought the books in German because, well… I am German. I read them and I fell in love with them. Oh, I fell so hard. I opened my laptop (whose name, by the way, is Herman) and googled. And googled. And… you guess it, googled. I found this nice little forum for Hunger Games fans. First I just stalked a bit because I was unsure if I should register. But then I did.

And it was the true beginning of my fangirl life. It was like a whole new world had opened to me. I looked around for other communities I could join to not feel so alone anymore with my love for books. I was still in school back then and let me tell you; I was the odd-ball. Very few of my classmates had even read the Harry Potter books, let alone in the first week they were out. I always felt so lonely when someone talked about Harry Potter and I realized they didn’t talk about the latest book. Or not about the books at all. Can you imagine that they said “I’m not going to read them. I’ll just watch the movie.” Back then I didn’t even know about the magical kingdoms called ‘Fandom’ or I would have said Good riddance! to half-hearted conversations about books with my classmates much earlier! But with The Hunger Games I found my place among fellow fangirls. It was a relief. I felt like I finally truly belonged somewhere. Some of my best friends I met in that forum and they understand me better than anyone though we’ve never even met in person. To be fair, I met two of them in person and am about to meet two other sweethearts soon. But it doesn’t matter. We’re connected even though it “just” a digital connection. Wait, no. We’re communication digitally, but we’re connected by our shared love. For more than three years we had a place to go, not only to talk about the Hunger Games but also tell each other about problems and insecurities. Now, not that long ago the forum was put offline. It was a massive shock for us. I felt like my entire world was crumbling down. Worst thing was, my mom didn’t understand. She thought I overreacted. She said I could stay in contact with the others. Well, that’s true. But it wouldn’t be the same. For three years we had come to this place in the internet and we’d been a family. They were a part of me. We are family and with closing the forum it was like the destruction of the house we were born in. It hurt. It f-ing hurt! Fortunately we found another place for us. We are still together. And I think we now know better how much we mean to each other. It showed me how precious people you don’t even properly know (but let’s face it; I know my virtual friends better than my ‘real’ friends) can become to you. With The Hunger Games I found my place in this world. I’m living the life of a fangirl now. And I’m happy with it. Other people think me weird for obsessing about books and movies. They probably think me absolutely bat-shit crazy if I’m right with interpreting their faces. But that’s who I am. I’m weird. I’m awkward. I’m the girl who organizes the Hunger Games books in a bookstore if it is not done correctly. I’m the girl whose life was changed for the better by a simple movie trailer. I’m a fangirl and I’m proud of it. And The Hunger Games were the gateway for that.