I know, I
promised that I would post something happy next. I actually tried to find a
funny picture and build a post around it. But then, there are so many hilarious
pictures out there on the internet that I would’ve had a hard time deciding.
And then, my brain is fixated on jobs and education and applications these days.
I’ve hardly done anything else in the last two or three weeks. So I decided
that today’s post would be about work. And not my petty problems at work, no.
No, I mean jobs in general.
I found this
little gem and thought I would share it
I was quite
impressed that those are the thoughts of a ten-year-old, if I’m honest. But
then I started thinking. It’s true, no adult really thinks about stuff like
that. We were all asked during school what we want to become when we’re grown
up. My answers varied from ballerina over teacher to ‘Heck-I-don’t-know’. The
last one is the most recent one. When I was finishing school I literally didn’t
know what I wanted to do with my life. Just to imagine choosing one profession
and staying with it my entire work life gave me the creeps. So in the end I settled
for studying. I chose languages because I could at least see myself
interpreting texts for some years before I didn’t want to do it anymore. Well,
it turned out that wasn’t my way. Long story short, I realized that I didn’t
have to love the job I’m doing and obsess about it. We all are asked what we
love to do and are taught that this is exactly what we should choose as a job
for us; but… I can’t do that. I simply can’t. Because I get bored. And I get
bored very easily. If I found a job today and thought it fantastic it’s
entirely possible that a month from now I would dread going to work because I found
it so boring.
So, when I saw
the picture above I started thinking (I know, I do that a lot…). It’s crystal
clear that I’m no Sherlock. There is nothing I can do really well. I’m adequate
at a lot of things, but exceptional? No. I also know that it is my own fault. I’ve
never put any more effort into something than was absolutely necessary. I never
had to. I learn new things quite easily and most of the times a general
understanding is enough. I never did any more maths problems than I really had
to. I never read another chapter for more understanding. I’m a fast learner and
therefore never learned to really study something. So, I have a wide range of
mediocre talents but nothing that stands out. Clearly no Sherlock, right?
So, if I’m
not a Sherlock, then I must be a Watson.
But somehow
I have a problem with that conclusion. I’m too selfish to be a Watson. I don’t
want to be the supporting character of someone else’s story, no matter how
important supporting characters are. I work for myself and I want to be
recognized for what I’m doing. And then there is always the problem that I’m
probably cleverer than most of my future employers. I hate stupid people. It
doesn’t bother me if people are not that intelligent. But there are also stupid
people. For me there is a difference between not intelligent and stupid. And I can’t
stand stupidity. People can’t help if they are intelligent or not, it’s
genetic. But they can do something against their stupidity. Most people don’t
do that, though. I can see, why. It’s easier to be stupid in our society. Because
most people are. And chances are I will end up working for someone stupid. (I
know that I must sound terribly snooty right now… I’m sorry)
So, the actual question is: do I want to be
the Watson to some stupid person? Or should I dedicate myself to something so
that I become a Sherlock? Is it possible to change from a Watson to a Sherlock?
I would
love to be a Watson if I just found my Sherlock. My Sherlock would be a smart
person I can admire. Someone I can respect and not want to slap senseless every
time he or she opens their mouth. The longer I think about it the clearer
becomes my ache to find my Sherlock. I’m only twenty-three right now, but I have
the feeling that I should (and want) to start my career soon. It’s difficult to
imagine a future if it depends on someone. On someone I don’t even know.
Somehow I wish I had never found that picture, had never read it. Things just
get complicated once you’ve started thinking about them. Sometimes I wish I could
just stop thinking for a while. But now that the shit hit the fan (please
excuse my language), I have to go with it. I defined myself as a Watson and now
I’m dedicating my time to finding my Sherlock. I know he must be out there.
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